FRIZZLED LEEKS – great snack or garnish

I recently hosted a single malt scotch tasting event.  In addition to the whiskies I wanted to provide some nibbles also in the Scottish tradition.  I found this recipe on the web and served as a crunchy munchie; huge success.  Like everything I make, I can’t resist modifying a bit or a lot.  All credit goes to Andrew Cohen at High Ground Organics.com; http://www.highgroundorganics.com/recipes/frizzled-leeks-crispy-fried-shreds-of-leek-for-garnish-or-snacking/

INGREDIENTS:       4 large leeks, white and palest green parts only

6 cups grapeseed oil

Salt to taste

I got the leeks at Trader Joe’s; they came two to a package and were already trimmed and cleaned.  Well worth the cost as I didn’t want to serve fried sand with the leeks.  I left the leeks full length. Slivered them into very narrow strips and patiently separated every piece.  Then I rinsed long and well in cold water, drained for about one hour and then fanned out on a kitchen towel for more drying time.

I used my largest saucepan and heated the oil to 375°.  I kept a thermometer in the pan so that I could regulate the temperature between 350° and 375°.  I was surprised at how long it took to reach the desired temperature.  I had never checked the temperature of the oil when frying before; I’ve never had the oil hot enough which is why anything I fried did not fare too well.  I gently placed very small batches of the leeks into the oil.  They were done in about ½ minute.  I removed with my newly purchase spider strainer and spread on paper to drain.  When all were cooked I patted the tops to remove any remaining oil. Salted and they were ready to serve.  Very big hit, really yummy!

At least I keep myself amused!

I think it is important that we not take ourselves too seriously and be able to truly laugh at ourselves.  For me it is critically necessary.  I am reasonably intelligent and can be appropriately articulate.  I can also flabbergast friends and family with some of the incredibly stupid things that seem to just fall out of my mouth.  The other evening I was having dinner out with my two daughters.  On the menu was an appetizer called Fettuccini Fries, dusted with parmesan cheese, and served with a dipping sauce.

It was presented beautifully, the piled high with the dipping sauce on the side.  I tried one, “yum.”  S has a somewhat eclectic palate like me.  C is quite a bit more cautious.  I watched and waited as they each tried them with the sauce.  Both emphatically declared “delicious” and proceeded to devour them with me occasionally pushing in for some.  

About half way through I felt the need to voice my observation.  It is in these moments that I should pause, think, re-think, and then, perhaps, remain silent.  But, not me and so, with utmost seriousness I proclaimed that, “I was glad that they both liked these, but was a bit surprised that you would enjoy fried pasta!”  

Two heads whipped around in my direction, jaws dropping, eyebrows shooting to the ceiling and they both moaned, “What”.   

Then it hit me.  

And I already knew this. 

This was not fried Fettuccini, it was potatoes cut to look like Fettuccini!  

 It is good I can find myself so amusing!

DIY Hazmat

When getting myself ready for work the other morning I followed my usual routine.  After fixing my coffee I laid out what would shortly become my lunch and then sat at my computer to do the New York Times crossword.  Something about the combination of the hot coffee and the hard thinking is just what I need to get my gastric juices roiling.  Right on cue I toddled off to the downstairs bathroom and attended to business.  When done I flushed as usual.  Uh, oh!  The toilet did not overflow, but boy it came very close to the brim.  And there was a pretty toxic looking miasma sloshing around in there!

I decided to not deal with it then and hoped it would have fixed itself by the time I got home from work.  Well, my hopes were dashed.  I did some surfing on the net and found a few DIY suggestions.  I rejected the first one, a plunger. I have yet to master the needed flick of the wrist technique for successful plunging; never accomplished more than splashing dirty water all over myself and the bathroom.

I did decide to try the eco-friendly solution of warm water, baking soda, and white vinegar.  When mixing this brew it effervesced and bubbled just like the witches cauldron in Macbeth.  This filled me with optimistic hope.  The water level in the bowl had dropped a bit so I felt safe in adding to it, especially if this fizzy mixture was going to attack the clog and get things flowing.  I poured as instructed from a few feet above the bowl, adding some oomph to the flow.  Nothing happened.  I thought, well maybe it needs some time, so I let this germinate overnight.  When I got up in that morning not much change, a bit of a drop in the water level..   I was still not prepared to deal with it further.  I think I kept hoping that the Good-Fairy-Plumber would magically come by and fix things while I was at work.  And, I have fully equipped bathroom upstairs so this was neither a health issue nor a great imposition for me.

Another suggestion on the net was to unbend a wire coat hanger to use as a snake.  Having just tossed every wire hangar in the house I had to think about where I might get one.  Well, the helpful receptionist at work equipped me with a small supply, “in case they break when you are unbending them.”  She also snagged some drain “un-clogger” from the maintenance closet.  When I got home I un-bent the hangar and confidently inserted it to unblock the toilet pipe.  The only thing I accomplished was now, in addition to the hazardous waste brewing in the bowl, I had a wire hangar sticking out of it!

It was at this point that I gave in and called for the plumber. As it was evening I wasn’t expecting anyone until the next day, this was not an emergency.  While not watching TV I kept thinking, I can’t have the plumber come and deal with that mess.  I had to clean out  before he got here.  Now the NET does caution about taking precautions when dealing with the toilet waste.  Being mindful of that I gathered a bunch of “to be discarded” towels and covered the floor around the toilet.  I also garbed myself in pj’s ready for the rag bag.  In keeping with good hazmat precaution I then draped myself in plastic trash bags, donned rubber gloves, and my swimming goggles for further protection.

Using disposable plastic containers I began the daunting process of bailing out the toilet bowl.  It is at times like this that I am so grateful for my diminished sense of smell.  I managed to bail it out completely without a single drop on the towels or my trash bag, rain coat.  With the water level down I was able to get a good grip on the hangar, turn it slightly, and out it came.  Then a few swipes with some paper towels and I it was ready for viewing.

So now, when the plumber came the following morning and I was proud to have a squeaky clean toilet, that was still blocked, for him to fix.  I do regret that I didn’t to take a selfie when decked out in my homemade hazmat suit, I could have posted it with this.