Final words on Birthdays, for this year!
My 48th birthday was a milestone. I was in the process of adopting my daughter
C and this was the first weekend that she stayed with me. I remember waking very early and thinking
about her asleep in the room next to me and I simply couldn’t stop grinning. I was
overcome with joy. I sat in bed for the
longest time just being so happy; the best birthday present ever!
Tuning 50 was not a big deal for me; not a birthday of which
I had any expectations. On a Saturday a few
weeks before the actual date I was supposed to go out to dinner with a group of
friends. I wasn’t feeling well that day;
had an infection on my neck which was treated in the ER and couldn’t get it
wet, so a shower and hair wash were out of the question. I was feeling very sorry for myself and just
wanted to stay home. I never even
thought it odd when my friend H insisted she would wash my hair in the kitchen
sink, keeping my neck dry, so I could get dressed up. Dragging my feet, and not being too silent about
it, I did get ready. The group of us set
off in the van. On the way we had to
make one stop to pick up E. Everyone was
gung-ho to go into the AOH hall for a drink while we got E and then we would be
off to the restaurant. Still being so
happy to be miserable, I whined that I would wait for them in the car. But they just wouldn’t leave me alone. “No, no, come in with us.” Kicking and screaming all the way I did. When we walked in the door I lost all sense
of reality. Time went into slow-mo. The hall was packed. There were the folks I worked with! There were friends from Boston! Over there friends from NY. And there was my daughter! And there was my brother and sister-in-law! I just couldn’t process this. What are they doing here? What is this?
. P told me, “This is for you; it’s
your birthday party!” Eventually it
registered and I thought my heart would explode with the joy of it all. My friend C had arranged this surprise party
for me! Folks from every aspect of my
life filled the hall and they all were there for me! I was beyond high with amazement and
joy. And, in case that wasn’t enough, there
had been a parade in Peabody that day, and C’s husband E had arranged for the
bagpipers to parade around the hall and play for me. It was the event of my life! I was bursting
with joy. It was a grand party.
With my 54th birthday my life- long dream of motherhood was further fulfilled. C’s sister S had come to live with us; we were now a wonderful family of 3 humans and 4 cats. The girls gave me a surprise birthday party. Well, they contacted friends who did all the work to make it what they wanted possible while they could be charming hostesses of the sweetest surprise party. They got me out of the house and then back home in time for the surprise. When it was over and all guests gone home the three of us went to Benson's http://bensonsicecream.com/ the best homemade ice-cream and indulged in sundaes. Another perfect celebration.
Birthdays since then have been less dramatic but just as
wonderful. Usually a meal with close
friends and being so happy to be able to spend the time together. As I get older birthdays could began to seem
less like something to look forward to if viewed as The Countdown. But I learned that we do better not to treat
them as markers of time passing; rather, use them as opportunities to celebrate
the glorious gift that is our life. My
dear friend E advises that we should celebrate our birthday for the full 2
weeks surrounding it. I like that.
It can be stressful to have to celebrate
anything in the space of a single day – especially as we get busier, slower, and
more dispersed. Allowing days before and
days after the singular day to qualify for celebration provides plenty of
opportunity; opportunity to spend with friends, opportunity to recall joyful
times, opportunity to grieve for those not with us. This year’s celebration
began the Sunday before my birthday. C’s
and my birthday are just about a week apart, and Sunday was mid-way
between. I had a small gathering of
friends for some food and fun. My girls
were there. For me it was beautifully,
perfect day. I worked on my actual birthday, but
treated myself to bought lunch, rather than the usual brown bag. I had a McDonald’s lobster roll; a pretty
good deal for the price. The Saturday after
my birthday I went with friends to the Peabody Essex Museum to view the Thomas
Hart Benson exhibit and then have lunch.
I’ve had lots of cards, lots of calls, lots of wishes posted on my
Facebook timeline. And my gift to me was
to make it official at work that I will wind down before year end and then
embark on full time retirement. All in
all a really great, ongoing, celebration.
And I’ve still a few more days left.
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