More Birthday Memories

In my early 20s, my boy-friend F took me to a very fancy Italian restaurant in Manhattan.  We got really decked out, drove to Manhattan, valet parked.  Many of the wait-staff were opera singers.  It was a very elegant meal and one I’m sure we could never afford today.  And the singing, arias and choruses; so romantic.  I had never actually seen an opera, but grew up hearing them on the stereo, so there were lots of selections that were familiar and well liked. It was a most sophisticated, magical, artsy, and grown-up celebration.

Not it, but like this

 Rossini's

I’ve not had much problem with the years advancing, though turning 35 seemed hard.  At that time I had unmet goals and expectations and didn’t see them happening soon.  I was divorced and childless; being a mom had always been my singular driving purpose.  I did however have a really good job.  I had transferred from the field to the Home Office in Boston and was on the path to a career I never expected.  I had interesting colleagues wonderful friends, a supportive community based in my church, meaningful volunteer activities; all-in-all a very rich and rewarding life.  So I didn’t mope too long or too hard, but did mope a bit.  I did remind myself that if I wanted something, it wasn't going to come knocking on my door, I would need to get it or make it happen.  I'll save the escapades about trying to become a bio-mom for another time.

Approaching 40 was freeing.  The day after my 39^th birthday I started claiming 40.  For me this was a milestone.  It meant I was now truly an ADULT and I actually started to feel grown-up.  I was still a bit amazed at my job and did have the feeling that was a kid playing at CAREERS; any day now I was sure they would find out I was a fraud.  This never happened.  In my non-working life I was now truly a grown-up and was not to be messed with or intimidated by anyone. I suddenly had permission to speak up, assert myself and advocate; sales-clerks, auto-mechanics, even doctors and nurses, watch out! I not only expected to be treated with respect, but because I now commanded it, I was!.  WOW! A real awakening.

It was good I enjoyed my 40^th year as the actual birthday and time after was traumatic.  The week before my birthday, one of my two brothers died unexpectedly.  On my actual birthday my Mother died.  I had planned a huge party for myself, which, of course, was cancelled.  And, just in case this wasn't enough, an on-again/off-again relationship was ended (not by me).  And to top things off, my apartment was robbed!  It took a long, long time to recover from the losses. But I was blessed with loving and caring friends who sustained me through it. I was very shy to think about any kind of birthday celebration for many years to come.

A few weeks after this actual birthday, my friend F gave me my birthday present; we went to Six Flags New England (https://www.sixflags.com/newengland.  We arrived when it opened and left when it closed.  We did not waste one second on sissy rides and barely paused for refreshments. We did each of the roller coasters, water slides, and other scary rides at least 4 times.  This was the only time in my entire life that I left an amusement park exhausted, fully sated and not wanting or needing more.

More to follow.