Starting Over
I won't bore you with the details, suffice it to say that circumstances which might have been avoided, but weren't, led to the prospective buyer withdrawing her offer. And that has led to my not securing the fantasy of living in a loft. After some worrisome moments I found I was not obligated to the lease I signed, no money has been lost, the purchase and sale has been negated. Nothing lost, nothing gained, just very disappointed.
This seemed like the course of events as I was leaving for my annual Centering Retreat and that is what came to pass while I was there.
I am so glad I decided to go on the retreat. There would be no better place for me to handle this, no better surroundings, no better daily routine, no better group of people. I was able to take in all that happened, recognize my disappointment and move on. Because all it is, is a disappointment. And there is no reason for me to make it emotionally any "bigger than a bread box".
Friday evening I returned home, got my stuff organized and put away. We had an open house yesterday afternoon and there were a good half dozen possible prospects. So, I go on.
I am not liking being in this waiting mode, but that is what is happening now. I can complain and whine and be unhappy, that would be very, very easy.
Or, I can try to see what is good in this. I have no idea what will be next, only that there will be a next. Because I have no idea, I don't have to plan for next, I can simply and patiently wait for it. I don't have to figure anything out.
I've gone through all my stuff and made the hard choices. No matter what the outcome, when it is the appropriate time I will let go of what I don't want or need; for now it is pretty much set aside, emptied out, or out of the way and I am feeling quite comfortable living without just about all of it.
I don't need to plan for what my new home will need or have. That can and will wait until I know what my new home will be and am packing to move into it.
Right now I am called to, required to live simply in the here and now. That is a good thing for me to get a whole lot of practice so I become more comfortable in it.
Just coming home from this annual, spiritually restoring retreat is the perfect preparation for this "ordinary" time.
I have been and am a problem solver. I thrive on analyzing whatever it is, redefining it to make it better, planning how it will be, look, feel. These are all great skills that have served me very well in my work roles, in my volunteer roles, in family situations, much of my life.
But, sometimes there is nothing to fix, plan, redo, improve. Sometimes it is time to simply live and be. When it came to my work I always said, once we get into "maintenance mode", when all changes are humming along, I am done, I am bored, and I would seek the next challenge.
Life can be the ordinary, the daily, the routine, sometimes the mundane. And I think aging and the frailty that can comes with it provides for long stretches of this type living. So, it is really, really good practice for me to learn to live, thrive, and enjoy this way of being.
I have developed things I enjoy that give expression to my creativity, that allow me to feel fulfilled, that provide me with a sense of accomplishment and pleasure. And when not doing those things I enjoy a good book, a good movie, good music, meditating, contemplating, feasting with my eyes on the glory of nature.
I will focus on these simply, ordinary things for however long this next phase of selling takes. I will pray for the patience to wait for my next living situation, what ever IT may be. And I will pray for IT, whatever it may be, to be the next stage that I want and need, but may not know how to articulate or envision. I will pray to not define what is next, but to recognize what IT is when IT is revealed to me.
This seemed like the course of events as I was leaving for my annual Centering Retreat and that is what came to pass while I was there.
I am so glad I decided to go on the retreat. There would be no better place for me to handle this, no better surroundings, no better daily routine, no better group of people. I was able to take in all that happened, recognize my disappointment and move on. Because all it is, is a disappointment. And there is no reason for me to make it emotionally any "bigger than a bread box".
Friday evening I returned home, got my stuff organized and put away. We had an open house yesterday afternoon and there were a good half dozen possible prospects. So, I go on.
I am not liking being in this waiting mode, but that is what is happening now. I can complain and whine and be unhappy, that would be very, very easy.
Or, I can try to see what is good in this. I have no idea what will be next, only that there will be a next. Because I have no idea, I don't have to plan for next, I can simply and patiently wait for it. I don't have to figure anything out.
I've gone through all my stuff and made the hard choices. No matter what the outcome, when it is the appropriate time I will let go of what I don't want or need; for now it is pretty much set aside, emptied out, or out of the way and I am feeling quite comfortable living without just about all of it.
I don't need to plan for what my new home will need or have. That can and will wait until I know what my new home will be and am packing to move into it.
Right now I am called to, required to live simply in the here and now. That is a good thing for me to get a whole lot of practice so I become more comfortable in it.
Just coming home from this annual, spiritually restoring retreat is the perfect preparation for this "ordinary" time.
I have been and am a problem solver. I thrive on analyzing whatever it is, redefining it to make it better, planning how it will be, look, feel. These are all great skills that have served me very well in my work roles, in my volunteer roles, in family situations, much of my life.
But, sometimes there is nothing to fix, plan, redo, improve. Sometimes it is time to simply live and be. When it came to my work I always said, once we get into "maintenance mode", when all changes are humming along, I am done, I am bored, and I would seek the next challenge.
Life can be the ordinary, the daily, the routine, sometimes the mundane. And I think aging and the frailty that can comes with it provides for long stretches of this type living. So, it is really, really good practice for me to learn to live, thrive, and enjoy this way of being.
I have developed things I enjoy that give expression to my creativity, that allow me to feel fulfilled, that provide me with a sense of accomplishment and pleasure. And when not doing those things I enjoy a good book, a good movie, good music, meditating, contemplating, feasting with my eyes on the glory of nature.
I will focus on these simply, ordinary things for however long this next phase of selling takes. I will pray for the patience to wait for my next living situation, what ever IT may be. And I will pray for IT, whatever it may be, to be the next stage that I want and need, but may not know how to articulate or envision. I will pray to not define what is next, but to recognize what IT is when IT is revealed to me.
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