It seems that when one thing happens, others follow. So it has been for me. The sale fell through and I am having to start over. Need to reconsider my asking price and that means adjusting my plan. Not a crisis, but a change. And it is the kind of change that I need to take time to adjust to.
Being a thinker, a planner, a plodder, it takes time for me to get comfortable. I have to look at it from all angles, consider all aspects, contingencies, and find the positive on all sides. That takes time. But, when I do, then I can proceed fully comfortable and committed to the "new" whatever.
Adding to my consideration, both of my daughters have recently had some major life crises. I have been trying to be present to them, be supportive of them, while not taking responsibility for resolving or fixing things, as I simply cannot not. That takes lots of energy.
I do love my girls. But, I must admit, life with them is not at all what I ever expected or would have hoped for. They have taken me places I never thought I would go and once I got there knew this was someplace I did not want to be.
They have not done this in any deliberate manner. Rather, they are the product of their early childhood nurturing (or lack thereof) and experiences. They struggle with the effects of that. They do not ask for more of me than to just be with them. It is I who struggle with, oh, I want to "fix" this.
These past weeks I've been struggling. It is a reflex for me to immediately start defining a solution when I learn of something needing attention. It is also a reflex for me to believe that my solution is right and the one to be chosen.
To get myself to not start solving, to not start directing events, to not be in charge, that is not a reflex, that is more like lifting weights. It is hard, it is a struggle, I saps my energy and strength. The good news is, at last, I am getting comfortable with the current circumstances to accept what I can and cannot do and am honoring my limits.
Life goes on, I go on, and to do so in a healthy and fruitful manner I need to broaden my focus. Live in the moment. Take joy and pleasure in those things that provide them to me, nature, music, creativity, friends. And hold on to the foundation belief of my faith, "all shall be well".
Thursday, July 12, 2018
Saturday, June 30, 2018
There is more than just waiting for a sale....
...and it is up to me, and only me, to figure it out.
From the time I put my home on the market until the signing of the P and S my full focus, really my only focus, was getting the sale executed, securing the loft in which I wanted to live, deciding what would move and what wouldn't, planning the layout and decor of my new home.
When it all fell apart I was left feeling very sad. Very disappointed, And very empty. I had set aside everything else for this downsizing business.
To "stage" my home I had packed up a lot the things I treasure. To keep my home ever-ready for showing, I had restricted what I did, where I did it, and always, always left it in a "ready to show" state.
Being a carefree sewer this meant no lint and random threads scattered about that got vacuumed up, maybe once a week. This meant no spreading out my sewing stuff all over the dining table, the kitchen counter in addition to the desk and every surface in my sewing room.
It really inhibited me as I had to leave enough time to clean up after myself every time I worked on something. When there wasn't enough time to sew and clean-up, well, I didn't work on anything.
So, not having my sewing to occupy me that left me way too much time to dream about my new home, plan the furniture layout, plan what I might get to make it function better for me. These activities created no mess to clean up.
Fortunately, I also had my Bible Study group, my Centering Prayer group, and two volunteer commitments (assisting in the 6 week Cooking Matters class and mentoring in the 12 week Budget Buddies class).
The way things happened the classes ended and the prayer groups went on summer break and the sale fell apart. So there is this big, gaping hole in my daily routine. No forthcoming move to plan for and no regular commitments on which to focus.
Fortunately when the sale fell apart I was on my annual Centering Prayer retreat. This week long retreat has been a constant and faithful anchor for my spiritual, prayer, emotional, intellectual, and physical life for well over 10 years.
The retreat is held at the Paulist Father's summer camp, St. Mary's on the Lake, Lake George. The routine of the retreat provides 4 opportunities daily to Center with the group. There are morning and evening session for learning, sharing, praying. The afternoons are "free time" and my usual routine is to spend as of it as possible swimming in glorious Lake George.
The retreat is designed, led, inspired by Vinny McKiernan, CSP. I have neither the skill nor the words to fully tell you about him, but here's on link that will give a little glimpse at who I have been privileged to be on retreat with these many years: Vinny McKiernan, CSP on YouTube
This routine for the week resets my "centering prayer clock" and also gets me into a daily routine of swimming at a local lake. Over time I have learned to not pressure myself to Center twice daily. I used to, seldom did it and then would simply give it all up as I had "failed". Now my goal is one time a day, in the morning, somewhere during the getting into the day stuff. That is not just doable, but becomes an essential part of setting me in a great mental, emotional, spiritual place for the rest of the day.
The daily swimming is another time for reflection and prayer. I set a starting distance out and back, and then add 10 additional stokes each way daily. Gently increasing my exercise, stamina and meditative time.
This waiting time is not what I planned, not what I wanted. But, as is so often the case, it is exactly what I need. The sale feel through. I was left empty. But, I was with a group and in a space that renews me and restores my courage to firmly stand on my faith. Now, I am back home and have a revitalized foundation to stand on.
The sale will happen. I will downsize and move to another home which I will make work for me. In this meantime, it is summer, nature is glorious and abounding. I am blessed with family and friends and I will use the inspiration from the retreat to propel me forward for this next phase, however long it takes.
And I will re-figure how to keep my home showing ready and still be able to sew and quilt and create as those activities fill me with much joy. And I have so many ideas for things I want to make, learn and try. I will not think about a new home until the next P and S is signed and been sitting for a day or two. To steal from Father Vinny, I will "be present to the presence", I will live in this moment and not miss it because I am so focused on the next.
From the time I put my home on the market until the signing of the P and S my full focus, really my only focus, was getting the sale executed, securing the loft in which I wanted to live, deciding what would move and what wouldn't, planning the layout and decor of my new home.
When it all fell apart I was left feeling very sad. Very disappointed, And very empty. I had set aside everything else for this downsizing business.
To "stage" my home I had packed up a lot the things I treasure. To keep my home ever-ready for showing, I had restricted what I did, where I did it, and always, always left it in a "ready to show" state.
Being a carefree sewer this meant no lint and random threads scattered about that got vacuumed up, maybe once a week. This meant no spreading out my sewing stuff all over the dining table, the kitchen counter in addition to the desk and every surface in my sewing room.
It really inhibited me as I had to leave enough time to clean up after myself every time I worked on something. When there wasn't enough time to sew and clean-up, well, I didn't work on anything.
So, not having my sewing to occupy me that left me way too much time to dream about my new home, plan the furniture layout, plan what I might get to make it function better for me. These activities created no mess to clean up.
Fortunately, I also had my Bible Study group, my Centering Prayer group, and two volunteer commitments (assisting in the 6 week Cooking Matters class and mentoring in the 12 week Budget Buddies class).
The way things happened the classes ended and the prayer groups went on summer break and the sale fell apart. So there is this big, gaping hole in my daily routine. No forthcoming move to plan for and no regular commitments on which to focus.
Fortunately when the sale fell apart I was on my annual Centering Prayer retreat. This week long retreat has been a constant and faithful anchor for my spiritual, prayer, emotional, intellectual, and physical life for well over 10 years.
The retreat is held at the Paulist Father's summer camp, St. Mary's on the Lake, Lake George. The routine of the retreat provides 4 opportunities daily to Center with the group. There are morning and evening session for learning, sharing, praying. The afternoons are "free time" and my usual routine is to spend as of it as possible swimming in glorious Lake George.
The retreat is designed, led, inspired by Vinny McKiernan, CSP. I have neither the skill nor the words to fully tell you about him, but here's on link that will give a little glimpse at who I have been privileged to be on retreat with these many years: Vinny McKiernan, CSP on YouTube
This routine for the week resets my "centering prayer clock" and also gets me into a daily routine of swimming at a local lake. Over time I have learned to not pressure myself to Center twice daily. I used to, seldom did it and then would simply give it all up as I had "failed". Now my goal is one time a day, in the morning, somewhere during the getting into the day stuff. That is not just doable, but becomes an essential part of setting me in a great mental, emotional, spiritual place for the rest of the day.
The daily swimming is another time for reflection and prayer. I set a starting distance out and back, and then add 10 additional stokes each way daily. Gently increasing my exercise, stamina and meditative time.
This waiting time is not what I planned, not what I wanted. But, as is so often the case, it is exactly what I need. The sale feel through. I was left empty. But, I was with a group and in a space that renews me and restores my courage to firmly stand on my faith. Now, I am back home and have a revitalized foundation to stand on.
The sale will happen. I will downsize and move to another home which I will make work for me. In this meantime, it is summer, nature is glorious and abounding. I am blessed with family and friends and I will use the inspiration from the retreat to propel me forward for this next phase, however long it takes.
And I will re-figure how to keep my home showing ready and still be able to sew and quilt and create as those activities fill me with much joy. And I have so many ideas for things I want to make, learn and try. I will not think about a new home until the next P and S is signed and been sitting for a day or two. To steal from Father Vinny, I will "be present to the presence", I will live in this moment and not miss it because I am so focused on the next.
Sunday, June 24, 2018
Starting Over
I won't bore you with the details, suffice it to say that circumstances which might have been avoided, but weren't, led to the prospective buyer withdrawing her offer. And that has led to my not securing the fantasy of living in a loft. After some worrisome moments I found I was not obligated to the lease I signed, no money has been lost, the purchase and sale has been negated. Nothing lost, nothing gained, just very disappointed.
This seemed like the course of events as I was leaving for my annual Centering Retreat and that is what came to pass while I was there.
I am so glad I decided to go on the retreat. There would be no better place for me to handle this, no better surroundings, no better daily routine, no better group of people. I was able to take in all that happened, recognize my disappointment and move on. Because all it is, is a disappointment. And there is no reason for me to make it emotionally any "bigger than a bread box".
Friday evening I returned home, got my stuff organized and put away. We had an open house yesterday afternoon and there were a good half dozen possible prospects. So, I go on.
I am not liking being in this waiting mode, but that is what is happening now. I can complain and whine and be unhappy, that would be very, very easy.
Or, I can try to see what is good in this. I have no idea what will be next, only that there will be a next. Because I have no idea, I don't have to plan for next, I can simply and patiently wait for it. I don't have to figure anything out.
I've gone through all my stuff and made the hard choices. No matter what the outcome, when it is the appropriate time I will let go of what I don't want or need; for now it is pretty much set aside, emptied out, or out of the way and I am feeling quite comfortable living without just about all of it.
I don't need to plan for what my new home will need or have. That can and will wait until I know what my new home will be and am packing to move into it.
Right now I am called to, required to live simply in the here and now. That is a good thing for me to get a whole lot of practice so I become more comfortable in it.
Just coming home from this annual, spiritually restoring retreat is the perfect preparation for this "ordinary" time.
I have been and am a problem solver. I thrive on analyzing whatever it is, redefining it to make it better, planning how it will be, look, feel. These are all great skills that have served me very well in my work roles, in my volunteer roles, in family situations, much of my life.
But, sometimes there is nothing to fix, plan, redo, improve. Sometimes it is time to simply live and be. When it came to my work I always said, once we get into "maintenance mode", when all changes are humming along, I am done, I am bored, and I would seek the next challenge.
Life can be the ordinary, the daily, the routine, sometimes the mundane. And I think aging and the frailty that can comes with it provides for long stretches of this type living. So, it is really, really good practice for me to learn to live, thrive, and enjoy this way of being.
I have developed things I enjoy that give expression to my creativity, that allow me to feel fulfilled, that provide me with a sense of accomplishment and pleasure. And when not doing those things I enjoy a good book, a good movie, good music, meditating, contemplating, feasting with my eyes on the glory of nature.
I will focus on these simply, ordinary things for however long this next phase of selling takes. I will pray for the patience to wait for my next living situation, what ever IT may be. And I will pray for IT, whatever it may be, to be the next stage that I want and need, but may not know how to articulate or envision. I will pray to not define what is next, but to recognize what IT is when IT is revealed to me.
This seemed like the course of events as I was leaving for my annual Centering Retreat and that is what came to pass while I was there.
I am so glad I decided to go on the retreat. There would be no better place for me to handle this, no better surroundings, no better daily routine, no better group of people. I was able to take in all that happened, recognize my disappointment and move on. Because all it is, is a disappointment. And there is no reason for me to make it emotionally any "bigger than a bread box".
Friday evening I returned home, got my stuff organized and put away. We had an open house yesterday afternoon and there were a good half dozen possible prospects. So, I go on.
I am not liking being in this waiting mode, but that is what is happening now. I can complain and whine and be unhappy, that would be very, very easy.
Or, I can try to see what is good in this. I have no idea what will be next, only that there will be a next. Because I have no idea, I don't have to plan for next, I can simply and patiently wait for it. I don't have to figure anything out.
I've gone through all my stuff and made the hard choices. No matter what the outcome, when it is the appropriate time I will let go of what I don't want or need; for now it is pretty much set aside, emptied out, or out of the way and I am feeling quite comfortable living without just about all of it.
I don't need to plan for what my new home will need or have. That can and will wait until I know what my new home will be and am packing to move into it.
Right now I am called to, required to live simply in the here and now. That is a good thing for me to get a whole lot of practice so I become more comfortable in it.
Just coming home from this annual, spiritually restoring retreat is the perfect preparation for this "ordinary" time.
I have been and am a problem solver. I thrive on analyzing whatever it is, redefining it to make it better, planning how it will be, look, feel. These are all great skills that have served me very well in my work roles, in my volunteer roles, in family situations, much of my life.
But, sometimes there is nothing to fix, plan, redo, improve. Sometimes it is time to simply live and be. When it came to my work I always said, once we get into "maintenance mode", when all changes are humming along, I am done, I am bored, and I would seek the next challenge.
Life can be the ordinary, the daily, the routine, sometimes the mundane. And I think aging and the frailty that can comes with it provides for long stretches of this type living. So, it is really, really good practice for me to learn to live, thrive, and enjoy this way of being.
I have developed things I enjoy that give expression to my creativity, that allow me to feel fulfilled, that provide me with a sense of accomplishment and pleasure. And when not doing those things I enjoy a good book, a good movie, good music, meditating, contemplating, feasting with my eyes on the glory of nature.
I will focus on these simply, ordinary things for however long this next phase of selling takes. I will pray for the patience to wait for my next living situation, what ever IT may be. And I will pray for IT, whatever it may be, to be the next stage that I want and need, but may not know how to articulate or envision. I will pray to not define what is next, but to recognize what IT is when IT is revealed to me.
Saturday, June 16, 2018
The best laid plans etc, etc, etc
Spoke and wrote too soon. Big snafu. Everything on hold and extended about a week. Still going on retreat and will be praying for a very good resolution. Will keep you all posted.
Friday, June 15, 2018
WOW and WHEW
Just a very short update. I'm too excited to write for long.
The Purchase and Sale has been signed by both seller (that's me!) and the buyer (that's the family I am so excited about).
I'm off to sign the lease on my loft.
All has been reviewed and approved by my lawyer.
This is really, really going to happen.
This waiting to get all the pieces into place and properly signed has been pure torture, but it is, at last, over.
I head out for a week long retreat, what a great way to be going into it. Nothing hanging undone, unresolved. And a whole week to celebrate and be grateful.
YEAH!!!!!
When I am back will be posting about what isn't coming with me and if any of you want any of it. And other things related to this downsizing that this stressful waiting has put on the back burner.
The Purchase and Sale has been signed by both seller (that's me!) and the buyer (that's the family I am so excited about).
I'm off to sign the lease on my loft.
All has been reviewed and approved by my lawyer.
This is really, really going to happen.
This waiting to get all the pieces into place and properly signed has been pure torture, but it is, at last, over.
I head out for a week long retreat, what a great way to be going into it. Nothing hanging undone, unresolved. And a whole week to celebrate and be grateful.
YEAH!!!!!
When I am back will be posting about what isn't coming with me and if any of you want any of it. And other things related to this downsizing that this stressful waiting has put on the back burner.
Friday, June 8, 2018
I am going to risk all and go public
Now I know how prospective parents feel during those critical first three months of pregnancy when they are bursting with the joyful good news but feel the need to wait to be sure all is okay before announcing it.
The very day after I buried the St. Joseph statue in a planter on my deck and began the daily ritual of saying the prayer, every morning, noon and night a solid prospective buyer looked at my home.
At the end of the showing they wanted to make an official offer right there and then. However, there was a very critical contingency which needed to be resolved.
Since that day until now we've been waiting with all digits crossed for the approval by the Condo Association of a needed modification and the for the passing of the home inspection.
I am so wanting this to be a go, I am hedging my bets and counting on it. The prospective buyer is a single mom with 2 children, a son who uses a wheel chair and a daughter. She has been looking for the right home for her special and unique family for 2 years. And my home seems to be what she has been looking for.
The needed modification is to provide a level access from the parking area to the front door, the current walk has steps. This request was submitted to the Association and their prompt response was that, in order to approve, they needed documented specs and assurance that the work would be done by someone licensed and insured. This seems quite reasonable to me and feels like we are just a step away from approval. The prospective buyer's father is a contractor so I am feeling confident all will fall into place.
When I remodeled my place I planned the first floor for my living there until I had to go to a nursing home. So I made all the doorways wide and, although it is not fully handicapped accessible, it is very wheel chair manageable. This unique design of my first floor accommodates this young boy's unique needs. Who would have thunk when I was designing the layout.
Tomorrow is the home inspection. When I purchased this place there were a few issues that the home inspection showed. Some were resolved by the seller before closing. Others, which could wait and were not deal breakers, have been more than addressed, resolved, removed, and/or improved upon when I did the major remodel. I am not anticipating anything arising that hasn't already been disclosed.
I bought my townhouse as a place to provide a loving haven for my family; one that is welcoming and in which we would all feel comfy, save, secure. I never thought of who would live here next and what it might mean to them.
Thinking that this space I created will continue to be a comfy, save and secure home for this family delights me beyond what words can express.
So, we are a wink away from a contract for sale. And this is happening in adequate time for me to secure the loft I was dreaming of living in! The closing date accommodates my lease start date! Everything, EVERYTHING is falling into place!
I am more than a bit stunned and awed that I am getting what I want and humbled by how blessed I am. And that this particular family is the one who will be living in my home gives me more joy than I can contain.
I will be moving into my new digs and have wide open space with lots of light and sky surrounding me, a wonderful place to quilt and entertain. They will be moving into their new digs and have a first floor that is an accessible open space in which to function and live. How wonderful is that?
It is not signed, sealed, and delivered so I will keep praying to St. Joseph and all others for this to be so. Your prayers for the same would also be welcome.
The very day after I buried the St. Joseph statue in a planter on my deck and began the daily ritual of saying the prayer, every morning, noon and night a solid prospective buyer looked at my home.
At the end of the showing they wanted to make an official offer right there and then. However, there was a very critical contingency which needed to be resolved.
Since that day until now we've been waiting with all digits crossed for the approval by the Condo Association of a needed modification and the for the passing of the home inspection.
I am so wanting this to be a go, I am hedging my bets and counting on it. The prospective buyer is a single mom with 2 children, a son who uses a wheel chair and a daughter. She has been looking for the right home for her special and unique family for 2 years. And my home seems to be what she has been looking for.
The needed modification is to provide a level access from the parking area to the front door, the current walk has steps. This request was submitted to the Association and their prompt response was that, in order to approve, they needed documented specs and assurance that the work would be done by someone licensed and insured. This seems quite reasonable to me and feels like we are just a step away from approval. The prospective buyer's father is a contractor so I am feeling confident all will fall into place.
When I remodeled my place I planned the first floor for my living there until I had to go to a nursing home. So I made all the doorways wide and, although it is not fully handicapped accessible, it is very wheel chair manageable. This unique design of my first floor accommodates this young boy's unique needs. Who would have thunk when I was designing the layout.
Tomorrow is the home inspection. When I purchased this place there were a few issues that the home inspection showed. Some were resolved by the seller before closing. Others, which could wait and were not deal breakers, have been more than addressed, resolved, removed, and/or improved upon when I did the major remodel. I am not anticipating anything arising that hasn't already been disclosed.
I bought my townhouse as a place to provide a loving haven for my family; one that is welcoming and in which we would all feel comfy, save, secure. I never thought of who would live here next and what it might mean to them.
Thinking that this space I created will continue to be a comfy, save and secure home for this family delights me beyond what words can express.
So, we are a wink away from a contract for sale. And this is happening in adequate time for me to secure the loft I was dreaming of living in! The closing date accommodates my lease start date! Everything, EVERYTHING is falling into place!
I am more than a bit stunned and awed that I am getting what I want and humbled by how blessed I am. And that this particular family is the one who will be living in my home gives me more joy than I can contain.
I will be moving into my new digs and have wide open space with lots of light and sky surrounding me, a wonderful place to quilt and entertain. They will be moving into their new digs and have a first floor that is an accessible open space in which to function and live. How wonderful is that?
It is not signed, sealed, and delivered so I will keep praying to St. Joseph and all others for this to be so. Your prayers for the same would also be welcome.
Wednesday, May 30, 2018
Praying for a sale
Well, my home continues on the market and showings continue to happen. So that is good. All it will take is one prospect to decide to buy. All I have to do is optimistically, hopefully, wait for that to happen.
That is just so very hard. Right now a major part of my future hangs on the decision of someone else, a complete stranger. I am not in control and have no influence over who it is going to be or when this might happen.
For those who know me, my extreme discomfort with this is understood.
As I reflect on my life, so much of what has occurred has been due to my influence. I made choices and plans and changes, geographical and career, so I would be or get what I wanted. It has felt like I have left very little to any other's control, rather I had control.
Well, now, that's just a tad arrogant! I did have dreams and ideals and wishes. And I did investigate and research all that was involved in making them happen. And I did do all that I could to inform events. But, beyond that it was not in my control, it only felt like it was.
So, maybe that is how I need to approach this waiting to sell my home time. What can I do to promote this? Keep the place as attractive and welcoming as I can. Yup, doing that.
Bury a statue of St. Joseph. I nixed that at first, but changed my mind. I was amused to find special "Seller's St. Joseph" kits. I read the info, did what fit and now have it buried in a potted plant that will be moving with me.
Spend time meditating daily, reflecting on all the joy and love this home has given to me and my family and send that out so that someone searching for a loving home will feel it and respond. Well, I can do that. And spending the quiet, reflective, meditative time will be good for me, keep me calm during this "in-between" phase.
Keep my home delicately filled with loving, welcoming and inviting scents that capture prospective buyers when they walk in. I've decided on sandalwood in the living/dining rooms, lemon and basil in the kitchen, eucalyptus in the bathrooms, jasmine in the sewing room, and lavender in the bedrooms. I already have oils or candles, I just need to get them releasing their fragrance before showings. Not so much that any one is even sure it is there, but just enough to waft into the subconscious.
And I can pray. I've never been comfortable praying for things for myself, in fact I have deliberately not done so as an adult. But those in one of my prayer groups believe that if it is for love, with love, loving, yes, do it. Well, I do want this home to be owned by someone(s) who will love it and feel loved in it. And I do want this sale to enable me to go to my next home and make it a place that is welcoming and loving to my friends and family. So, I will and am praying for a good, loving, sale. Sooner, rather than later, please.
That is just so very hard. Right now a major part of my future hangs on the decision of someone else, a complete stranger. I am not in control and have no influence over who it is going to be or when this might happen.
For those who know me, my extreme discomfort with this is understood.
As I reflect on my life, so much of what has occurred has been due to my influence. I made choices and plans and changes, geographical and career, so I would be or get what I wanted. It has felt like I have left very little to any other's control, rather I had control.
Well, now, that's just a tad arrogant! I did have dreams and ideals and wishes. And I did investigate and research all that was involved in making them happen. And I did do all that I could to inform events. But, beyond that it was not in my control, it only felt like it was.
So, maybe that is how I need to approach this waiting to sell my home time. What can I do to promote this? Keep the place as attractive and welcoming as I can. Yup, doing that.
Bury a statue of St. Joseph. I nixed that at first, but changed my mind. I was amused to find special "Seller's St. Joseph" kits. I read the info, did what fit and now have it buried in a potted plant that will be moving with me.
Spend time meditating daily, reflecting on all the joy and love this home has given to me and my family and send that out so that someone searching for a loving home will feel it and respond. Well, I can do that. And spending the quiet, reflective, meditative time will be good for me, keep me calm during this "in-between" phase.
Keep my home delicately filled with loving, welcoming and inviting scents that capture prospective buyers when they walk in. I've decided on sandalwood in the living/dining rooms, lemon and basil in the kitchen, eucalyptus in the bathrooms, jasmine in the sewing room, and lavender in the bedrooms. I already have oils or candles, I just need to get them releasing their fragrance before showings. Not so much that any one is even sure it is there, but just enough to waft into the subconscious.
And I can pray. I've never been comfortable praying for things for myself, in fact I have deliberately not done so as an adult. But those in one of my prayer groups believe that if it is for love, with love, loving, yes, do it. Well, I do want this home to be owned by someone(s) who will love it and feel loved in it. And I do want this sale to enable me to go to my next home and make it a place that is welcoming and loving to my friends and family. So, I will and am praying for a good, loving, sale. Sooner, rather than later, please.
Monday, May 21, 2018
This year's church auction quilt
In the past there have been some group projects and these were really a delight. Then there were a number of years where I worked alone. This year it was a joint project with my good friend, L. She was most kind and generous, let me take the lead, make just about all the decisions, and was willing and capable to do what needed doing.
I have to say, I am very pleased with the final result. I had seen a quilt pattern somewhere on FB and purchased it for, well under $2.00. I had an assortment of fabrics for a baby quilt that I wanted to use.
As we progressed this morphed from a baby quilt to something larger and, I like to think, better. We added a couple of rows to make it larger. Then some loops and buttons so it could be folded and fastened to become a sleep sack. That inspired a matching pillow with a sham that could be laid flat for a teddy or pet blanket. And it all rolled up nicely and fit into a matching duffel bag for easy transport to wherever.
I didn't have enough time to go that route, so I booked a block of time with individual tutoring to get it done. That was great fun. And I was so thrilled to find a baby elephant quilt pattern, it went so well with fabrics.
Sunday, May 13, 2018
I was inspired by Isabella Stuart Gardner
I love the Isabella Stuart Gardner museum; the architecture, the layout, the atrium, the collection, the way the walls are arrayed in lots and lots of art. This was my inspiration for my home. I could not afford original paintings, but do have a few. One is by a fellow parishioner and the others I stumbled in a yard/estate sales and consignment shops. I had a few framed needlepoint and crewel pieces, some my mom did, some I did.
These past 10 or so years I have expanded my collection with lots and lots of stuff from yard sales, estate, sales, 2nd hand shops and eBay. I tried to keep to a limit of $25. per item and did so most time. I have so enjoyed the vast array of "art" that I have been surrounded with.
I knew I would have to remove most of it to make my home ready for potential buyers. The display pleased me, but would be way too distracting and could keep possible buyers from seeing the good design and potential of the place.
These past few weeks I've been living with the stripped down minimalist look and find myself enjoying that. So, I will need to make many, many decisions about which things I will keep when I move and which ones I won't. I'm delaying serious processing of this until I know what my new home will look like.
When I started stacking and storing all that came down, I was more that a bit stunned by the sheer volume. It fills, from floor to ceiling, one end of a closet. Yikes!!! Deciding stay or go will be hard, as I really am fond of just about all I have acquired.
Sorting through photographs was not that hard. I had albums, boxes, and stacks. Over a year ago I did the first sort of some. I purchased an accordion file box and sorted the ones I am keeping by subject: me, my girls, my immediate family, friends, relatives, my homes, my pets, scenery I can't bear to part with, etc., etc. It has 26 sections, so I came up with 26 groups. As I saw the number of photos going into each section it got easier and easier to realize I didn't need that many of any one event, person, place.
I've recently gone through all the albums. As i turned pages from saw lots and lots of photos of places I could not name, people I could not make out, and for those I could, multiples.
I selected my favorite in each category and the rest went. I have eliminated 10 albums and added those pix I am keeping to the accordion file. I have decided to keep the 2 from my trip to Africa. After I move I will go through them very carefully and scan the ones I must keep, already have about a dozen scanned, printed in 8 x 10 and framed. Am thinking maybe 5 or 6 more. These will be displayed where I can enjoy them and truly, I simply do not need to keep the rest.
The accordion file is packed and needs further sorting, but at least I have reduced it to an amount I might even look at on occasion.
I was able to let go of pictures of people and places when I reminded myself that I was not letting go of the person or experience or memory of the place. That lives in me and will be there forever. The images are imprinted in my mind. All these pictures have been piles of stuff too many and too cumbersome to even bother with.
This simplifying and letting go feels good. I haven't lost weight, but I do feel lighter!
Monday, May 7, 2018
Photo Day
I will get back to "letting go", but for now I am totally consumed and distracted by today being the day the photos for the MLS are being taken. Since last Sunday all I have done is de-clutter and un-decorate for this. By the week's end I felt I had done a pretty good job, so had the realtor come and check my work.
I was pleased that she agreed with me; had just a few minor changes. She was here Friday and scheduled this photo shoot for today, Monday.
I did the few things she wanted, they inspired me to do some more along those same line - keep each room neutral, so that the walls, windows, floors and space are what catches the eye, not the furnishing.
I just have to do a very quick dust and vacuum and the whole place is ready. It looks great and I am not minding it much at all. This somewhat simpler, sparser look does have it's appeal.
The open house will probably be this coming Sunday. Wouldn't it be a wonderful Mother's Day present if "THE" buyer showed up and things settled fast? I think I would be just a bit overwhelmed, but also quite excited.
I've tried hard not to fixate on where I will be living next, but find myself really, really, really, hoping for the loft in downtown Haverhill.
So, that's where I'm at. I am exhausted. To get things to this stage I've worked every day for the past week. It was good work and satisfying work, but very tiring. Am looking forward to when they leave today and there isn't anything that I have to do. I can relax, nap, sew, or just sit and day-dream, but not for too long.
Need to sort through my dresser, closet and some storage bins of clothes and also look seriously for a place to live. But, I don't have to do any of that today. Tomorrow, I should start for sure, but not today. Today I will congratulate myself on a job well done, reward myself with some snuggle time with my cats, rest and get ready for this next phase.
I've been contemplating this for such a long time, that I am actually at this point and doing it seems a bit unreal. But, once it is listed it is real and, I like that!
I was pleased that she agreed with me; had just a few minor changes. She was here Friday and scheduled this photo shoot for today, Monday.
I did the few things she wanted, they inspired me to do some more along those same line - keep each room neutral, so that the walls, windows, floors and space are what catches the eye, not the furnishing.
I just have to do a very quick dust and vacuum and the whole place is ready. It looks great and I am not minding it much at all. This somewhat simpler, sparser look does have it's appeal.
The open house will probably be this coming Sunday. Wouldn't it be a wonderful Mother's Day present if "THE" buyer showed up and things settled fast? I think I would be just a bit overwhelmed, but also quite excited.
I've tried hard not to fixate on where I will be living next, but find myself really, really, really, hoping for the loft in downtown Haverhill.
So, that's where I'm at. I am exhausted. To get things to this stage I've worked every day for the past week. It was good work and satisfying work, but very tiring. Am looking forward to when they leave today and there isn't anything that I have to do. I can relax, nap, sew, or just sit and day-dream, but not for too long.
Need to sort through my dresser, closet and some storage bins of clothes and also look seriously for a place to live. But, I don't have to do any of that today. Tomorrow, I should start for sure, but not today. Today I will congratulate myself on a job well done, reward myself with some snuggle time with my cats, rest and get ready for this next phase.
I've been contemplating this for such a long time, that I am actually at this point and doing it seems a bit unreal. But, once it is listed it is real and, I like that!
Tuesday, May 1, 2018
I'm not too old for this, almost
Preparing to downsize is hard work. It is physically exhausting and mentally draining. Fortunately I am not too old for this now, but just. I still have enough stamina and strength to do what needs to be done. It just takes 3 or 4 times longer than it would have 20 years ago. I need to take rests to get back my energy. I need to take rests to get back my mental focus. I need to take rests to let the aches subside. I need to take rests because I am 71, going on 72.
But, after taking a rest I am able to and do continue. It is just that sometimes these rests are long and may involve a nap! These past few days I've been very busy carrying out the physical sorting of my stuff that I have been doing in my head for awhile now.
I have had to meet a few objectives:
I had spent a lot of time last year when home from helping my brother doing the same here in my home. I think I must have done a really good job. With this past week's work I have only 2 medium sized boxes of trash and everything else fits into my 3 categories: keeping, going, if there is space. And in this process I have also emptied drawers and cabinets so that I don't have to angst over not taking furniture that might not fit.
The biggest challenge was my sewing/craft/art room/office. But I have weeded out and organized and feel I have good control over what I have and also have it sorted and stored to fit any size apartment I move to. That did involve a lot of letting go, but now that it is done it feels quite freeing. I still have lots of stuff, but now have only what is truly useful.
As I have been doing this I have looked at certain things thinking, "oh, if I won't have space, I would like to give that to..." That has me a bit excited as I think a number of things will really please the ones I want to have them. But, I can't be too eager, don't want to give away what I will need when I moved. So I will think about my choices and smile about them and wait and see where I wind up first.
In the meantime I have a bit more tweaking and arranging to do. Then a good vacuuming of the floors, some polish to make them shine like mirrors and I am done with this phase. With this done I can leisurely sort through stored clothes and other personal items in my closet and drawers and have some time to do other things. A bit of a lull before the next surge of activity.
Next Up: Letting go of pictures and other memorabilia.
But, after taking a rest I am able to and do continue. It is just that sometimes these rests are long and may involve a nap! These past few days I've been very busy carrying out the physical sorting of my stuff that I have been doing in my head for awhile now.
I have had to meet a few objectives:
- Prepare my home for an open house. This means taking away a lot of wall art (some might say I have had too much). Removing some pieces of furniture to open up the space. Rearrange things to make each room look it's best and biggest.
- Separate things I will definitely be moving with me from things I will definitely not be moving and things that will only come if my space is adequate to contain them. I've designated the storage eaves off my room for definitely moving and clothes I need to sort through. The storage eaves off the guest room are things that will not be going and will be laid out for my inside yard sale. In doing this, the guest room closet was emptied and now holds things that may go, if I have space.
- Keep my home in a fashion that I can comfortably live in during this time. I need access to my sewing machines so I can continue to work on my projects. I need a comfy place to sit to read or watch TV. I need my home to still be my home and not an impersonal "model" or hotel room.
- Make the entry and deck welcoming and pretty. I have repaired some gashes in the screen/storm door and scrubbed the front stoop. I will add a new welcome mat, a hanging pot of flowers. The deck has been stripped of all things but the grill and lawn chairs, not my labor, just my direction. Thanks to C & J for getting this momentous (to me) task done in, well, it seemed like no time at all! I will put flowers in the 2 flower boxes and, for the open house, move the larger potted plants outside.
I had spent a lot of time last year when home from helping my brother doing the same here in my home. I think I must have done a really good job. With this past week's work I have only 2 medium sized boxes of trash and everything else fits into my 3 categories: keeping, going, if there is space. And in this process I have also emptied drawers and cabinets so that I don't have to angst over not taking furniture that might not fit.
The biggest challenge was my sewing/craft/art room/office. But I have weeded out and organized and feel I have good control over what I have and also have it sorted and stored to fit any size apartment I move to. That did involve a lot of letting go, but now that it is done it feels quite freeing. I still have lots of stuff, but now have only what is truly useful.
As I have been doing this I have looked at certain things thinking, "oh, if I won't have space, I would like to give that to..." That has me a bit excited as I think a number of things will really please the ones I want to have them. But, I can't be too eager, don't want to give away what I will need when I moved. So I will think about my choices and smile about them and wait and see where I wind up first.
In the meantime I have a bit more tweaking and arranging to do. Then a good vacuuming of the floors, some polish to make them shine like mirrors and I am done with this phase. With this done I can leisurely sort through stored clothes and other personal items in my closet and drawers and have some time to do other things. A bit of a lull before the next surge of activity.
Next Up: Letting go of pictures and other memorabilia.
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